Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Loving Kindness

I was just recently sick with a stomach virus. Not the worst I ever had, but still awful enough. My mother came and stayed with me. I felt so sick and vulnerable, so I was so grateful for her presence.

We live in the same house and you know what they say about 2 cooks and 1 kitchen. It is true.

We argue more than I like and more than I should.

I feel like being sick was intended to send me a message that life is too short to fight. I need to let go of my anger, aggressiveness. I need to let go of my irritability. It is a choice.

Instead of anger, I should take deep breaths, take a break when tired, walk away from heated or aggravating situations, and then try to cultivate loving kindness in my heart toward my mother…or anyone for that matter. (don’t we all experience difficulties at work, in the supermarket, with spouses, friends, children, and on and on?)

I need to find compassion for the person who brought me into this world and who taught me so well and loved me so well. I need to have compassion for this person who has her own weaknesses and vulnerabilities just like me.

When I fight with her I see her as strong over me. But really she is probably tired like me. She has disappointments, sadness, loneliness, and sickness at times too. I need to give up judging her and find compassion for her like I would for a small child. We’re all still children underneath.

Giving up judging will free me from the chronic irritability inside of me. I know this is easy to say now, but I am making a commitment to this.

The reading that inspired me towards this is Pema Chodron’s audiobook called “Getting Unstuck.” You can check it out on Amazon here: Getting Unstuck: Breaking Your Habitual Patterns & Encountering Naked Reality



I’ll keep you posted on the results of my commitment. I hope that you may find some revelation in this too that may help you.

1 Comment:

Life Learning Today said...

It's been a couple days since I wrote this longhand and I can say that it is definitely working. It's ok if you "fall off the horse." It's not a failure. Changing a habit takes time. Just keep working on it. Peace.